When I had just started blogging I planned to write fictions only. Eventually, poems happened and then articles. True stories, there were none until “Was She Raped?” happened. People reveal their inner selves in their blogs and I still do not have the guts to. Nor do I intend to (Nope, I don’t :-P).
But then sometimes a diary knows too much of you and you just want it (which is basically you) to shut up. These are the times when you need to blog. Acknowledging the fact that not many people read your blog helps you even more (Not now, they don’t. The number of my readers, of late, has only decreased :-/)
It so happened last weekend that I just couldn’t face my diary no matter how much I tried. So at my time of despair, I just couldn’t find the solace of it. I couldn’t because I didn’t want to, being aware of the fact that confronting it, would only break me down into smaller pieces. Yes, I was broken and I very much wanted to escape the fact and yet, face it at the same time. I had arguments and fights with almost everyone I cared for. I had no one to talk to. I just spent my Friday night burying my head on my pillow and crying. Those were not tears of being sad. Although I was sad, what had bothered me was the fact that I was behaving like a coward. There were people pestering me and I was more scared than angry, unable to muster up the courage to give them a thrashing they would remember. No, that’s not really me; when people give me a hard time I usually try to return them the favour. But last weekend (and at other times in history) I just couldn’t. I felt vulnerable and weak being a woman(Oh, I had no reason to be, I know now). So that was me- a cry baby, whining and tearful, spending a Friday night like a miserable person.
The next morning I woke up, I decided to chuck it all and go for a movie instead. I was never a movie buff nor am I now. But somehow, I discovered, watching a movie in a hall just cheers me up. So that was the antidote, I think, I needed.
Since I had a row with most of my friends, I didn’t want to talk to others either. I decided to go alone for the movies. I usually love my own company and I never shy away from going to restaurants or movies alone, but last weekend was different. Although it was my choice, but I was sad too.
The first movie I picked was Disney’s Khoobsurat at Wonder Mall in Thane. I travelled in a train so crowded that you can hardly breathe, just because the prices were cheaper there (I’m an IT person, remember :-P).
The problem when you’re sad is that you cry for no apparent reason and even smaller issues seem bigger. So when on the big screen they were playing Preet, I was wiping tears off my cheeks. Not that the movie was so emotional but I was just so sad. When I came out of the hall as the movie was over, I realized my mood was a lot lighter. No wonder, I liked the movie.
The second antidote (which usually was my first) is food. I helped myself with some gorgeous Italian food at Pizza Hut.
By this time, I realized that probably there’s no substitute to good food.
The next movie to watch was a Telugu movie named Aagadu at Big Cinemas in Vashi. No, I do not know what Aagadu means but I had to watch it as my friends insisted I go with them (they realized I was upset and so they insisted even more). The movie didn’t make much difference but I had a good time laughing at the jokes. The next movie was Daawat-E-Ishq in a hall very near to my house.
I loved Daawat-E-Ishq for three reasons –
1. Kebabs <3
2. Biryani <3 <3
4. Parineeti being “Hard-core Non (Veg)” :-D
5. All the other food items they had
Apart from these reasons, the other reason was– fighting against the social evil they call as “gift” or “help” (dowry, for those who do not know the core message of the movie).
The day ended at 3:00am the next morning when I finished watching Disney’s Frozen – one of the best movies ever. I loved it the way Disney considered sibling’s love too as true love and not just the plain old idea of a “true love’s kiss”. Also, they broke the myth about love at first sight being true love (Shakespearean Theory) because let’s be honest, the probability that a handsome stranger is someone trustworthy is just very less. Also, your “Prince Charming” may not actually be a prince by blood but can be an orphan adopted by trolls too.
Okay, I admit it, I’m a girl and unlike earlier times, these two Disney movies plus Daawat-e-Ishq totally spoiled me :-P.
Lessons I learned over my last weekend –
1. Reality may disappoint, but movies and food will always help. :-P
2. Going for a date via Mumbai ki local train is a bad idea because it will simply make you end up smelly and sweaty unless you are the Santoor soap girl :-P
3. Never spend more than 1/15th of a second crying for people who do not care for you even 1/100th of the tears you want to spend on them (I hope this sentence makes sense)
4. In case they do, patch up the differences as soon as you can. Say sorry if you have to. Life is too small to live with grudges, tears or broken friendships.
5. I understand that you can be happier if you simply don’t give a damn. But sometimes giving a damn is just so beautiful that you can’t help but give a damn. (Give a damn :D)
It took me a weekend to recover but by Monday I was back to being myself - I mended the fights and did what I should have done on Friday eve itself instead of crying. But if I hadn’t cried, I would have missed spending time with these nice movies, wouldn’t I?