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A Traveler's Saga

Photo taken at Plitvice National Park, Croatia by Vibhor Dhote Oh! What are these days I have found myself in! The bagpacks I carry n...

Friday, March 29, 2013

"Are You a Lesbian?"

“Are you a lesbian?” A friend of mine once asked me mockingly when we were discussing about my aversion from some (“some” not “all”) kind of men.

“No. But does it matter?” I asked her scornfully.

No, I wasn’t bothered that I was asked a question about my sexuality. But what I didn’t understand was that is being a lesbian a matter to be jeered about? What if I was one? Wouldn’t I be hurt and embarrassed that my sexuality was just mocked at? Why are the words “gay” or “lesbian” used as slangs?

Another incident, that took place a couple of years back, was when I was teasing two girl friends of mine, accusing them of having an affair. I considered it as normal as teasing a guy and a girl. One of them found it so disrespectful that she, instead of simply denying the fact, chided that she isn’t of such “third class” standard. I later discussed the small argument that we had, with her, trying to make my point that being a lesbian or a transgender doesn’t define anyone’s class or standard. Maybe my point wasn’t explained clearly enough. After a few minutes of a heated up conversation, we both agreed to the fact that perceptions vary and it was wrong on my part to tease them.

Now my question just changed to why are the words “gay” or “lesbian” interpreted as slangs?

There’s absolutely nothing embarrassing about liking someone of the same sex. We all have different needs – physical, emotional, etc. While some women require a man to protect them, to understand them and to pamper them, there are women who feel like they’re understood only by other women and they find love in them. Same is the case with some men who do not get as excited looking at a woman as they get while looking at a man. It’s as natural as anything else nature has created. And above all, it’s not a curse, unlike what most people think, it can even be a choice, a way of life.

It’s sad that even after 4 years of homosexual-intercourse being decriminalized in India, people still look at such couples with disgust and/or wonder. The reason, if there is one, they are treated as outcasts is something I never understood.

It was a few months back when my father was asking about a childhood friend of mine whom he last met a couple of years ago. “He’s doing well, Dad. He just got engaged with a guy named David Brooks who is a manager in a bank.”

I understood that it was very hard for my parents to realize the fact that my friend was gay. It was when they pitied on him, that I explained to them, for almost an hour, why it isn’t a thing to be pitied upon. “He is happy with the way he is. He doesn’t desire for any different life, just like I don’t want to be born as a boy or to be born in any other family.” Although it took some time, but finally, they understood.

Later that night I was narrating the day’s events to another friend of mine and he almost jumped off his chair at what I said.

“You have a gay friend?” He asked.

“Not one, but many.”

“Wow. Tell me his name. I want to know who he is.”

I didn’t get it what was there to wow about.

“Why? Are you interested? But like I said, he is already in a relationship” was my reply.

Because people consider homophiles as something “unusual” or “museum-material”, the latter are shy to declare their sexual orientation openly. As a result, many live an unsatisfied life with a partner of the opposite sex, living what people call a “normal” marriage. Consequently, the lives of both the husband and the wife are affected. There are such marriages, I have read, in some metropolitan cities in our country, where the husband willingly let’s her wife be with another woman in the day when he’s away, after realizing about her bisexuality. Some marriages fail when one of the persons is a homosexual. And some just cannot yield to marrying their parents’ choice, nor can they admit their sexuality for the fear of rejection from the family and the society, and thus, live a lonely life.

I recently read it in an article: “Homosexuality is nature’s way of controlling population.” The statement ends with an invisible smiley, in my opinion, because it says it all – that homosexuality is natural, acceptable, reasonable, and nothing less than being “straight”.

Maybe I understand too little, the complicacies of being a homosexual. But when the topic of legalizing gay marriage has been on the news since the last few days I couldn’t help myself but write this post. If all of us were given the right to vote for or against it, I would, without doubt, vote for it. For I don’t believe in making lovers suffer, and from when did love have a definition?

I could go on and on in this subject (or any subject for that matter as I am a blabby person which is totally the opinion of my friends and not mine :-P) but I am concluding this post with the note that two adults, irrespective of their genders, shouldn’t be refrained from making love if both of them have indicated their consent.

Being a fiction writer, it’s obvious that my post contains some fictional parts. But the viewpoint, I own up to it. I hope this post isn’t offending to anyone in any manner. In case it is, my sincere apologies to the person concerned.

If Money Didn't Matter?

What if money weren't an object?

Would we be together then,

In some faraway land?

Or would we work till late night,

Just like we do every time?

And would we say we love our jobs,

as much as we love our sidelines?

Would we spend so little time,

with friends, as we do now?

What if money didn't matter?

Would we let the childhood dreams shatter?

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Love is like a...

Your love is like a glass of wine
it's always less than I ask for,
its always more than I deserve,

your love is like the ring on my finger
I am embellished
by its glint,
It is admired
now and again,
It may not be commemorated

at all times,
but I will be incomplete,
with a void
if it's lost..

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Remembering You

And I wonder if it makes sense,
thinking about you,  and for so long..

I wonder if they mean anything
your talks of love and pain..
I wonder if it's for me
what you write, so dearly..

and I wonder if it makes sense,
waiting for you, and for so long..

I wonder if you think about me
While laughing with your friends
I wonder if you remember me
And how we used to be

And I wonder if it makes sense,
Crying for you, and for so long..

Friday, March 8, 2013

The Fort of the Flowing Stream - Dibrugarh

Guatemala. The word was ringing in my ears when I saw the tiny green plants growing proudly in the fields unaware of the fact that they will be soon removed for the cultivation of another plant, for which they were grown in the first place.

 The lands near the road from Moranhat, a small town in the eastern part of Assam in the Dibrugarh district, to Kathalguri (Kathal meaning Jackfruit in Assamese) were mostly devoted to the cultivation of Tea.  Assam is known for the black tea it produces, commonly known as “breakfast” tea or simply Assam Tea. Green and white teas are also grown in the state although in smaller quantities. Almost half of the tea produced in the state comes from Dibrugarh.

On the right side of the road lied the green fields filled with tea shrubs, all of the same height, with a few trees growing amidst the neatly columned shrubs to cater shade to them.  Some fields had tea plants that were almost a hundred years old, as told by my friends who were dwellers of the District we were in i.e. Dibrugarh, while others had newly planted shrubs. On the left side of the road the fields were covered with the not-so-neatly growing green Guatemala grasses that reminded me so much of the leafy crown of the Pineapple. They are grown before cultivating tea to make the land more fertile and suitable while increasing the activity of microbes.

As we crossed a long flyover in Moranhat, which was probably longer than those of Guwahati, it reminded me of the road from Guwahati to Dibrugarh. An eight hour long journey it was but the scenic beauty of the trees and fields next to the road, wiped all weariness away. Our bus had stopped at one of the many dhabas near the road and I can recall it was not that hygienic but it fed the hungry passengers quite well.

Dibrugarh town situated at the southern banks of the river Brahmaputra Is a beautiful, well-established yet peaceful place to be. While the town is surrounded by forests including the Kaziranga National Forest, tea estates are placed at the heart of the town. “It’s always raining there”, my friends had told me once and I witnessed it for myself in my visit to the town; not those heavy day-ruining rains but pleasant drizzles that embellish the day.

A trip around the town made me realize the fact that it was just inches away to be called a city; shopping plazas, movie halls, the crowded streets reminded me of the part of Guwahati near the Brahmaputra. The most crowded market was the Bhutiya market aka Tibetan market comprised of small stalls of clothes, bags and accessories. “Fashionable clothes at reasonable prices” they said and the market flooded with women of all ages examining the products.

We made it a point to visit the famous Tilinga Mandir (Bell Temple) at Bordubi in the adjacent district Tinsukia. The temple was named as such as it was a custom to tie a bell to a branch of the giant peepal tree growing in temple complex. Tying a bell would fulfill the wishes of the devotees, they said, and consequently the tree was tied with millions of hanging bells. Although the infinite number of hanging bells has given the temple its fame and is the reason behind its name, it was actually sad to witness a dying tree weighted down by the load of the bells with some very heavy ones.

A night’s stay at Dibrugarh town, and another at Moranhat, an hour away from the town, and we left for our destination Kathalguri where NEEPCO Power Station, our home for the next month as interns, was located. And now that I look back at the journey, all that fills my mind is peace that the region instilled in me and those tea shrubs of the same height looking so much alike yet different and distanced from each other by a few inches.

One Wild Night

We pretend so perfectly that nothing happened,
but hell yes, it was a wild night..

and it's fun to see nobody knew..
even the stars didn't see it too..

and in the woods we stayed till late..
wrapped in your arms, 'twas a date..

and yes, it was that wild night..
and we don't know each other today..
and the moon pretends he didn't hear..
the sounds of pleasure that were made..
showering those kisses of lust..
and we pretend we know not what love is,..

and the smell of the flowers that bloomed that night
reminds me so much of you tonight

but all I know is, it wasn't love..
all it was, just another wild night... ;-)

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Why I wrote?

I wrote...

in love, in happiness, in bliss...

I wrote..

when it was divine to love and be loved...

I wrote..

when you left..

I wrote..

being hurt, in pain, in agony..

I wrote..

when it was heartrending to be left...

I don't write anymore..

My blog, it's destitute of emotions.. 

for I don't feel you anymore..

 love has left, so has pain..

and I don't even know you anymore..

 and my heart, it's numb today..

I, Me Aur Main: Short Review

Nice effort by John Abraham to act.. better than whats expected of him.. 

commendable performance by Prachi Desai , coming out of her comfort zone of being "shy and sweet" to someone who is feisty ..

Chitrangada Singh looked as suave and chic as she always does, but seems like she was typecasted as all her characters played in the movies she was a part of, were comparatively similar..

Raima Sen played her character well but she along with Sameer Soniseemed barely necessary in the movie and they didn't have much to contribute. they are not to be blamed and we know that ..

nice and plausible story.. poor screenplay.. the first few minutes were were enjoyable in bits and pieces.. good for a one-time watch..

conclusion- could have been better!

Words of Smiths

A National Poetry Competition was on for a period of around 4-5 months organised by Wiz Konect.. My poem got selected as one of the top-picks to be published in this anthology.. and when you read my poem you will know why it's named as such (so not poetically).. Read the entire poem in my blog -
or in the blog of Wizkonect -